Meet Amy Belloso, an Alumna of our Women’s Treatment Program. In this interview we discuss her life’s journey and how she finds balance living in recovery.
What was your life like growing up?
I grew up in Tarzana, California, the middle of three children in a stable and healthy home. I had a happy middle-class childhood experience. My mother was a nurse and my father owned his own business so they spent a lot of time away from home and this translated into a lack of structure in my life. I was always pushing the limits; my mother has even jokingly referred to me as a monster probably because I never listened and did my own thing. I did well in school until I found drugs and alcohol in eighth grade.
Was there a moment when you realized you needed help?
Throughout my teenage years I knew I was in a very dangerous position, but all I could think is the feeling I got from alcohol and wanting that again. I knew I had a problem, but motherhood and marriage slowed me down. It took two decades for me to realize I needed help and that’s when I sought treatment at CLARE|MATRIX.
What has been one of your most challenging experiences in recovery?
One of the most difficult things for me is having to accept things that are unacceptable. Being away from the people I love, from my children, and having to accept that as my reality in order to recover. It’s frustrating when you know something is wrong and you’re in no position to make it right. I’ve learned to stay open-minded and just keep moving forward.
How do you balance being productive in life while maintaining a stable recovery practice?
I always put recovery first no matter what. I have an amazing boyfriend that works a structured program as well and that definitely helps. Many of the people I work with are in recovery as well so I have support there too. All these things help me to have faith and turn things over to God when I realize situations are out of my control. Practicing gratitude and forgiveness in daily life, always remembering that I’m not the one in charge, and always being there for those that need a helping hand is key to maintaining this life. Not forgetting where I came from helps to keep me where I’m at.
What are you grateful for today?
Everything. Faith. Peace of Mind. Feeling calm in the midst of all the craziness in the world is such a blessing. In sobriety I get to live a life free from anxiety and worry. I’ve learned to see things from a humble perspective and I’m grateful that I get to wake up in a safe and healthy home environment. I’m grateful to have a waitressing job that I love, that gives me the financial stability I need to pursue my real estate license. I’m grateful for my ability to maintain healthy relationships. I’m able to be there for my daughter today. She’s my best friend and watching her blossom into a strong, smart, and independent woman makes my heart happy. Things aren’t perfect and it’s not always easy, but I’m always grateful.